It’s A Good Day To Love Yourself
I look forward to my therapy appointment every week. As usual, today’s session was immensely helpful. I was talking about how my foot pain has me bummin’ and she asked if I’ve signed up for physical therapy yet. I had forgotten all about PT (thank you, executive dysfunction), so the reminder was needed. I was dreading doing this for many reasons but while talking about it, I realized that I’ve loved bodywork in the past. Maybe PT is something else I could look forward to, especially since it will directly contribute to feeling better? That was all I needed to get an appointment set up with the PT my PCP highly recommended. I’m excited now! While I was at it, I also made a much-needed appointment with the pulmonologist I was referred to. That’s less exciting but still something I got to check off my health to-do list.
On the surface, health appointments feel overwhelming and not dreamy-slow-living adjacent. It feels overwhelming and anxiety-inducing for about a hundred different reasons. Here are some:
I have a history of mistreatment from fat-phobic medical providers. (but recently, due to my advocacy and tenacity, I have had the most incredible experiences with my medical providers; my therapist reminded me of this today. I’m putting it here so I can continue to remember it, as well.)
I hate having a busy schedule.
Calling new places to make appointments can be a time suck and it always feels uncomfortable for some reason.
What if my needs aren’t validated or if I’m not treated like I’m important?
That said, by working through the discomfort and taking care of my physical health, I am taking care of my mental health. This connects to my values and contributes to the fulfilling life that I am seeking.
Tangent: Social Media makes us feel like we can instantly feel the benefits of self-care. I am a connoisseur of cozy-content and I often long to vibe on the same frequency as some of the people I admire online. They look so light, so unencumbered. But it’s just a display and as my therapist says, I can’t compare my insides to other peoples’ outsides.
I’m really happy to have made those appointments. I do feel a little lighter.
Note to self: Set a limit for how long you put things off. In the long run, it’ll feel good to do the thing, especially since this is a thing you already want. Take your time, but remember that things are different now and everything will be okay.